Memory

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Random Memories

She once told me she wanted to post individual close up images of her body on the net, so that people could assemble an image of her.

There was a big yellow website. A hypertext-fiction kind of site, and I never did read it all. It was sort of written like a screenplay, and Lulu was listed as one of the characters, although she was not the author of the site, afaik.

(update) I found that site: http://www.skynet.ie/~hala/

I don't know if it has anything to do with Lulu, I remember we talked about it once, and its certainly pretty crazy. And it's from Ireland? On the cast page:

http://www.skynet.ie/~hala/cathal/goodcast.htm

Says loosely based on a real person, so I'm willing to wager this was Alexandra. Then again, I believe Jon Spencer named his album Orange, after her. And she told me as much. In fact I recall her telling me she met Jon Spencer around the time before that album was released, during a time she took to wearing shiny silver outfits. I could never tell if she was joking or not. And of course with Lulu, anything is possible.

(Another Update) I had the opportunity [1] to ask Jon Spencer about this. It was late, he had just done a show and didn't really understand what I was saying. I figured I was there and would ask him this bizarre question. The answer is maybe.

She told me she had a dream about William S. Burroughs, and he was wearing Nike gym shoes.

Don't think I've written it here before, but I've been thinking lately, how I clearly recollect a conversation where she told me she had written *a lot*. More than what she had published online. She said she had written novels and plays, and who knows what else. I believe she even gave me a number, of books or plays she had written, but I do not recall that. I guess it's just an idle wish that some of this might turn up some day.

smog

Not to sugar-coat things, my friendship with Lulu deteriorated inside a year of our becoming friends, and we never repaired that breach. (In our respective ways, we tried, but...) Back in the day, though, on ICQ, she sent me one of the first mp3s I ever had, "All Your Women Things," by (smog). I wrote a poem alluding to it for the abattoir group. (smog) became one of my favorite bands/performers. I've always been so grateful for that gift of a beautiful song. --msggoat 02:36, 4 August 2007 (UTC)


She said

She was in a band, too---The Mao Mao Killers of Greater Zimbabwe? Something like that. She painted. I imagine this was in an attic, in the house she shared with John W. She had a large vehicle like a SUV or Jeep. Her voice surprised me in being childlike. She had a female cat who ran away but then came back. She knew the band GWAR. At least 3 men proposed marriage to her. Like many women who exude natural friendliness, she was so attractive to so many. She wished I "liked girls" so that I could empathize with that part of her life. On sixdegrees.com, we listed our relationship as sisters, at her initiative. That seemed appropriate even though we both had actual sisters. I basked in her affection: I tried to enchant various male e-crushes, but Lulu was the person who'd tell me I was beautiful and that she loved me. I loved her in return. I was under the impression that she spoke and/or wrote German and French. She loved the beach, swimming, and even surfing, I think. Once, during a beach vacation (Ocean City, Maryland?), she almost drowned. She liked camping. I half-jokingly suggested that abattoir have a camp-out at The Treehouse Camp in Western Maryland. She was the victim of identity theft, and later found out it was her housemate messing with her mind jokingly. She was interested in hacking and very concerned about [her own] internet security. She was always, always online, or if not, she was probably talking on the telephone, yet she gave the impression of your having her undivided attention, which I never questioned. However, I wondered when she slept or ate. Her health and the possibility of cancer concerned her as early as late '99. She started talking about her worries with me; I encouraged her to get medical attention, thinking knowledge was preferable to unknowing fear. Over the next months I tried to keep tabs, and then she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Years later, she wrote me that she was living in a cabin in the woods, reading Foucault, very ill, and doing archaeology. --msggoat 02:36, 4 August 2007 (UTC)

MUDs

I remember Lulu talking about MUDs and how she liked them and spent time on them. I can't remember which ones she participated in, I've never been involved with them much. I imagine she probably would have liked things like Second Life.

A souvenir

I remember one of our last discussions on Icq. I still lived in Paris then, and she told me she'd just been diagnosed a tumour in her lung. I think it was maybe the last time I spoke to her. I also remember her voice very well, childlike indeed, as it's been said, telling me transatlanticaly, as it began to rain near Harrisonburg, that she loved to paddle barefoot (I remember she taught me that word "paddle" which I might have asked her three or four times to repeat and eventually to spell). I knew her from 6degrees. Catching the fact of her death today, I'm pervaded by a soft melancholy made of nostalgia of the eight years that have passed since those parisian days and the love for the over-living person Alexandra was.

I remember this Tom Waits/Burroughs' song coincidence made us listen at the same time during one night :

"You see, some bullets is special for a single aim A certain stag, or a certain person And no matter where you are, that's where the bullet will end up And in the moment of aiming, the gun turns into a dowser's wand And point where the bullet wants to go"

I remember so many things of her.

nico, 1st of october 2008 [synonymek@hotmail.com]